Hey sweets,
So I’ve heard it a million times: we, as good Christian women, must dress appropriately so that we do not cause good Christian men to have lustful thoughts.
Nope.
We’re gonna throw that argument out of here because it only contributes to rape culture. We are not held responsible for a man’s actions (or thoughts) based on what we wear. But really, that’s a topic for a different post.
Now that we have that out of the way let’s get to the heart of the matter!
Modesty is about a change in heart. Your heart. God doesn’t call us to live a life full of rules with every mess up a strike against us. Our hemlines do not need to rest perfectly at our knees or collarbones for the Lord to be content with us.
Will dressing modestly leave you friendless and single forever? No way!
Modesty is between you and God and is meant to strengthen your relationship with Him when you begin to honor Him with every part of your life. Worship is not just prayer or song or going to church. It is constantly giving your life to God and honoring Him with it.
So what does the Bible actually say about modesty?
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”
Wow! God is living within us.
These beautiful bodies that we were given should be loved and cherished like we fully believe and understand that. Jesus came down from heaven to teach and love us, but also to suffer for our sake. Our bodies and minds carry a hope within us given by Jesus.
That’s kind of a big deal, right? If I woke up everyday with the thought “God is living within me, He’s right here and I am made in His image.” I would feel unstoppable. I don’t know about you, but for me it is so easy to get caught up in what I should look like or should do because of comparison. That’s not the life the Lord calls us to live!
Psalm 139:14 says “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
I didn’t get that verse for awhile because of the word “fearfully.” In the Bible “fear” can often also be translated to “in awe of.” So it could read something like,”I praise you because I am wonderfully made in awe; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Imagine that, God was in awe of you when He made you. He’s the best artist around and He’s still amazed again and again by how beautiful you are.
Psalm 139:14 says “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
So you get it, God loves you and sees that you’re beautiful, but what about modesty in your life?
Will dressing modestly leave you friendless and single forever? No way! We’ll get to that in a minute.
It’s important to understand how God sees us before we look at ourselves. Our perspectives are flawed by expectations put on us by society, but God’s view is perfect and unchanging. He is still just as in awe of you on the days you stay in your pjs all day.
I prayed and read a lot on modesty as a new follower of Christ because I thought it was important to learn how to present myself as a Christian. How you dress and present yourself are some of the first things someone will notice about you, probably long before they know about your faith.
So, don’t worry about what your friends are wearing on that night out or what that guy across the room thinks of you.
I used to think that once I became the best Christian I could be (what does that even look like?) I would wear floor length skirts and high necklines. Some women feel called to dress like that and to them, it’s their beautiful way of honoring God. Now I know that God calls us to honor Him differently because we each have a different relationship with Him. Here are some tips to consider what modesty might look like for you (don’t miss tips 6 and 7!):
1. Pray about it. Ask God to open your heart to what He may have to say to you about modesty. Pray “How can I honor You with my whole life, Lord? How can I honor you with my body? What does that look like in my life, as a follower of Christ?”
2. Read Scripture. While the Bible doesn’t give super specific instructions (imagine what that list would have to look like!), there are lots of verses on how Christians should present themselves. God’s word is timeless and will always provide great insight. A simple Google search for “modesty in the Bible” will give you lots of options on where to start.
3. Talk to others about their standards of modesty and how that has changed over the years. Have some good conversations with friends and family about how they dress and why. You might hear some interesting perspectives.
4. Think about what kind of clothes you are comfortable in. Maybe you work in a daycare and need to be able to move around a lot. You can only follow God’s calling for your life if you are physically able to do it. Who wants to adjust clothing all day to stay “appropriate” when you could just wear clothes you feel beautiful and comfortable in already?
5. Think creatively! I love seeing new Spring and Summer fashion trends and figuring out ways to modify them so that I will be comfortable in them. Sometimes you come up with amazing new outfits just because you have a different perspective: embrace it!
6. If how we dress points to the Lord, our humility and natural beauty will shine through. A humble heart that is rooted in God’s love will be respected. We all know someone who dresses a certain way just to get attention. Don’t be that person! Be humble, and people will respect that so much because it is unique. Attention from someone who won’t care for your heart the way you deserve is not the right kind of attention. Genuine respect from someone will feel so much better than fleeting attention: be humble, because that’s the best look on everyone anyways.
7. Remember, this is between you and God. He does not call us to dress in a way that suppresses our personality or fashion sense. God’s ways are perfect and His reasons for modesty make sense. He wants us to realize the beauty and power we have in our bodies, but most of all, to realize that we are much more than the bodies our souls inhabit. Can you imagine if our bodies were what we valued most in life? Out hearts could never be satisfied. Our outward beauty may fade, a hairstyle may go out of style, but a heart that is set on serving the Lord and honoring Him is eternal. That is why we are here on Earth, right? To learn what is important long-term.
So, don’t worry about what your friends are wearing on that night out or what that guy across the room thinks of you. You are more than a body. You have a soul that is flourishing and growing closer to God in a broken world. You are doing what feels impossible and you are great at it, sweets! Your friends love you for your company, not if you are dressed identical to them. That guy across the room is not interested in taking care of your heart the way you deserve. You are going to attract God’s best for you by being exactly who He created you to be. Your personality will shine through best when you’re dressed comfortably in a way that honors your body. You are so much more than the latest fashion trend, current “best” body type, or sex appeal. By dressing modestly, you are taking hold of that truth, and believing it. You’re working on your heart and that is something the Maker of the Universe is going to notice. He’s really the one worth impressing, amiright?
I hope you pray and listen to God’s reply on this topic. He’s ready to talk about it with you!
What does modesty look like to you? What are some of your favorite items in an outfit to stay modest?
Check out Same, Girl, Same on Pinterest to see outfits Alena and I might wear!
Peace and blessings,
Shaina
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