Hey sweets,
Listen, I know it can be really hard to find community in college. Whether it’s your first year at college, you just transferred to a new one, or you have never really found “your people”, I feel you. My first year of college had its ups and downs. What really helped me get through it was a few great friends I met along the way.
Community is so important because, as Christians, we need to encourage one another. Being a Christian in this world, especially in college, can be tough. We are choosing to live a life that goes against modern culture. Our perspective as Christians are different. From how to speak, dress, date, and enjoy night life, everything is a little different for us! That is why we need each other to remember whose we are and to keep the faith. Here are some things I’ve learned about finding community in college:
Communities grow and change all the time. I’m in my junior year of college and and my community has transformed a lot in just two years!
1. It takes time and patience.
I’m sorry! I know you don’t want to hear that. Believe me, my heart is breaking with you as you sit in your dorm room alone, wondering how God is using this season for His good. I am with you, girl! Think about it this way: community is like family. It takes a long time to create a family and make the dynamics work for everyone. Families are never really “finished!” There is always another niece or nephew being born or a wedding being planned. Communities grow and change all the time. I’m in my junior year of college and and my community has transformed a lot in just two years! Be open to change. Chances are the first people you meet in college aren’t going to be your best friends. If they are, that’s great, but don’t close yourself off to other friendships throughout college.
2. You are going to grow a lot during this journey.
Along the way God has always been with me and shown me the people I needed in my life. Maybe they weren’t all people that became my close friends, but they still were important because they helped me build the community I ultimately desired. Like in dating, it is important to realize what types of friendships work for you, and who you get along with best. Other people can teach you a lot about yourself. If you feel lonely and unsure of where your community is in college, look at it as a learning experience.
3. Don’t be afraid to reach out.
You don’t look desperate, trust me. It’s always nice to be invited to coffee or lunch to chat with someone new! Introduce yourself to someone you see at the gym all the time, that girl who said something interesting in class, or someone you regularly see in the dining hall. Alena and I first met when she introduced herself at a Christian club meeting. Afterward we walked back to our dorm together and she invited me to her room to talk. We talked for over two hours! We went from acquaintances to fast friends in no time. None of that would have happened if she hadn’t been brave enough to speak first.
Don’t be discouraged when your community may look a little different from what you imagined! God has given you a unique story.
4. Go to the Club Fair with a plan.
My goal was to sign up for different clubs that encouraged me in my faith, fostered healthy habits, were academic-oriented, musical/artistic, had volunteer-work, and one that would be a resume booster. I signed up for so many clubs that day and found one to satisfy each criteria. It’s so much easier to sign up for lots of clubs and later decide which ones you like. That way, later in the semester you can invest in a few of your favorite clubs.
5. Own who you are.
If there’s group or activity that isn’t represented then start it! Alena and I enjoy the Christian groups on our campus, but had trouble finding one that represents the Protestant faith. We started a Sunday night Bible study with each other and just a few friends. We bought an Advent devotional, made some copies and hot chocolate, and led our first Bible study for four weeks! It turned out to be a beautiful group of young women from all different faiths who share the same desire to find community and be encouraged in their walks with the Lord. We took a leap of faith by starting it and it turned out to be so good!
If there’s group or activity that isn’t represented then start it!
6. Explore the churches in your college’s town.
Podcasts from your home church and midweek Bible studies only get you so far. Our hearts were made to desire community. Try a few churches in the area and make some friends. Go to coffee hour, try some of the Bible studies and choir groups. In no time a family or elderly couple will adopt you and invite you over for dinner. Community looks different everywhere, be open to experiencing all that God has planned for you in your college years.
7. Whatever you do, don’t give up.
Even if you don’t love that Christian club or new church at first, try to go for a few weeks. At the beginning of the year things are always a little unorganized. Hey, even if it doesn’t get any better, you might make a friend along the way. Just get out there!
College can be overwhelming. It is so important to find others to stick with you throughout the experience. Maybe you’re reading this and want to find good community. Maybe you’re reading this and don’t know what you want for your college years. Either way, pray. The Lord will guide you to the people you need in your life. Don’t be discouraged when your community may look a little different from what you imagined! God has given you a unique story. Try not to compare your college life with your expectations. After all, we know that we are the children of the One “who is able to do infinitely more than all we ask or imagine,” (Ephesians 3:20). It’s all going to work out in God’s timing.
I pray that these things have given you a few ideas on how to find some great friends and community in college. Challenge yourself to implement maybe just one of them and see how it works! God has big plans in store for you. You are not alone in this journey, sweets!
Peace and blessings,
Shaina
