A few years ago, God brought someone into my life who I thought could be “the one.” I didn’t date in high school and I decided a long time ago that I would involve the Lord in my relationships and date intentionally. It was exciting to start my first long term relationship and I had heard the Lord loud and clear which is why I thought this could be a pretty serious one.
I believed that God was encouraging me to be with this guy.
At the beginning of the relationship, things were going well. I enjoyed dating him and I included the Lord in all of the decisions I made concerning the relationship. However, within my relationship my values and beliefs quickly became compromised. I was okay with settling for someone who didn't respect me because I believed that God had without a doubt brought him into my life.
I knew that it was not the kind of relationship I had prayed about for so long, but I was conflicted because I could see how God had brought us together. Once we broke up, I gained new perspective and could see how unhealthy the relationship was.
So, why would God do this? For a while I ignored my faith because I was mad. If I had been so sure that God was behind this relationship and it was a bad relationship, how could I trust myself to interpret God’s voice anymore?
How could I even trust God?
I finally decided to let my anger out by talking to Him, although I will admit it took awhile for me to face Him because of my disappointment.
I let it all out, tears in my eyes and brokenness in my soul,
“God, why did you want me to be in this relationship with him if you knew it would end like this? Why would you hurt me like that? Didn't you want better for me? What happened to your promises?" After the last question, as it hung in the air I felt God answer me with a firm,
"That is NOT what I promised you."
It took me a while to absorb His words. It changed the way I was thinking about the relationship. God didn't make me do anything. God may have introduced this man into my life, but He did not force me to continue dating him once I felt disrespected. I thought that because God brought him into my life, I needed to stay with him. The thing is, I was right in that God was blessing me with the people in my life, but I forgot that these were people, and people have free will, including me.
I don’t believe that any of the pain in this world is caused by God.
God is always on our side. Through this experience I realized that wanting to follow God’s will should never feel like a trap. God will use my actions for my good in the end, and while people mess up, we can rest assured that God never does or will.
God promises the best for His children. If I had remembered this, I could have ended the relationship much earlier with an awareness that for God to really ordain something, it had to be good. James 1:17 for example explains,
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.”
I can rest in knowing that the Lord has beautiful plans laid out for me. God never breaks His promises.
Hugs,
Alena
