We all know that Instagram and Facebook can be used to measure how much people “like” us. These platforms have become breeding grounds for comparison, narcissism, and jealousy. A lot of people, myself included, have fallen into the trap of believing we need this validation and love from people on a screen to see our own worth.
It feels good to be popular, and naturally, we want people to see how attractive we are, happy we are, who we are dating, etc.
At the same time, social media is a great way to display creativity and personality. It shows people how we want to be seen, who we know, and what we are passionate about. With social media, we can advocate for ourselves and show friends and family what we are up to. These platforms are also a great way to keep people close and allow us to see and hear from loved ones from all over the world in more immediate ways.
So, since there are both pros and cons, how can we have a healthy relationship with social media without deleting it from our lives altogether? And how can our Christian values of loving others, ourselves and God fit into this? Here are a few ways I combat the trap social media can sometimes be.
I have grown to see and use social media in a different way than I once did because I changed the way that I thought about posting pictures. One of my best friends inspired me. This friend only posts things on her social media because she sees these apps as tools to capture memories. Because of her, the rule I follow when it comes to posting on my personal Instagram and Facebook is that I only post an image if it is something I genuinely want to remember. As my friend explained to me, Instagram and Facebook are the ways that she can see a library of favorite photos and videos organized together in a cool way.
This takes the pressure off of posting to participate in a “popularity contest” or feeling like I have to show-off.
I can post something if it is something I want to remember, and keep the people who care about me updated on my life.
Along with this “rule,” I also like to ask myself these questions before I post:
Does this post match my primary reason for having an account?
Am I posting this for myself or for someone else? Who is my audience?
Will it hurt anyone? Will it help anyone?
Do I only want to post this because I look good? Is there a greater idea or message behind it?
As far as who I “follow” and “friend,” I only connect with people who I genuinely enjoy seeing life updates about, people who I love, and people who motivate me. I have had to unfollow or unfriend people who made me feel unworthy or people who I may not necessarily feel invested in, and that is okay.
Doing this helps me feel better about myself and it also helps me to make the decision about what I post because I know exactly who my audience is.
These apps aren’t supposed to be what you are living for. Instead, they are supposed to help you see your own life and other people’s lives in an instant and beautiful way.
Now, what if I don’t follow these questions, and I do post for validation? What’s the harm?
Social media is never going to fill us with the love we desire. It is a temporary fix for the endless validation and adoration we will always want. Unfortunately, the temporary ways of feeling validated through social media can end up just feeding into the cycle of comparison and low self-esteem.
The “harm” is that on social media, if we are all aiming for validation, we are also all living for someone else, someone who isn’t God. We want someone to tell us that we are worthy, or “like-able.” The image you posted to make yourself feel good and like-able could make someone else feel like they don’t measure up, so they do the same thing, and on it goes.
Craving human recognition and affirmation is absolutely normal, but just because it is an innate desire does not mean that it’s a good one.
If you find yourself focusing a lot on likes and followers and friends, try taking a step back. This is something everyone struggles with on social media, and if you need some time off to reevaluate then go for it! Think about in what ways you know you have value. Love yourself, girlfriend! You are precious and worthy and you deserve more than to sit there hoping someone sees something that you posted. The people who see your value will make it clear to you in real life.
It’s so easy to also use social media as a way to keep tabs on a romantic interest.
If they are worthy of you they will show up for you in ways greater than a reaction to a beautiful photo. You don’t need to post a picture to make sure they remember what a catch you are.
Social media is all about intentionality. Our life purpose is to love the people around us and love Him. To be able to do this, we also need to have confidence in ourselves and understand that we are known and loved unconditionally by our maker. Our identity is in Christ. If posting on Facebook and Instagram is your way of showing people who you are, that is great!
Social media does not need to get in our way of what God calls us to do in our lives.
Keep using social media as a positive force in your life! I am so excited to see where it takes you.
Do you have any “rules” for yourself with social media? How do you use social media in a way that honors God?
Best of luck and lots of love,
Alena
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