I was sitting with a group of new friends, and suddenly someone dropped the question,
“Do any of you believe in God? Like, are any of you Christian?”
Usually when this question comes up, I have found that it falls into a couple of different categories. Sometimes it is asked with genuine curiosity. Religion is fascinating, and knowing how people see the world is important, even if they don’t think the same way you do.
Other times, and unfortunately, this time, the question is asked in a way that is accusatory, and looking for one “correct” answer. My friend was really saying,
“None of you believe in God, right?”
From the way she asked the question, I already knew I was going to be on the defensive. In this moment, as everyone went around saying “no,” the “correct” answer, I sat silently. To my surprise, this conversation took a turn and it opened my own eyes.
“Well, I’m agnostic,” the friend who began the discussion explained.
“What does that mean?” I asked, abandoning my vow of silence for the moment.
I knew atheists, and I had heard all of the arguments against a God. However, this label of agnostic was new to me.
“So, I believe there may be a higher power, but I don’t necessarily believe that there is. I would say that I am spiritual, but not religious.”
Soon, everyone else in the group started chipping in about how they agreed. They, too, had decided that their beliefs also matched the word, “agnostic.”
I find the idea of agnosticism, or the reluctance to define spirituality, frustrating.
By definition, an agnostic is:“someone who believes that it is impossible to know whether or not God exists.”
Not only is this definition heartbreaking, but it also doesn’t sound like something you can believe in. When someone labels themselves as agnostic,” they are, in a way, giving up the search for answers about God and life. My question for people who are spiritual but not religious, or who label themselves as agnostic, is: Why aren’t you still searching for answers?
Generally, the people I have met that believe in “something” but don’t want to put a label on it are smart, critical thinkers.
Yet, I am amazed as they have, in a way, decided to give up thinking about God.
A lot of this resolve may have to do with society’s stigma against religion, and especially some baggage specifically attributed to Christianity.
There are many outdated ways of thinking about Christianity that still exist.
For example, the idea that Christians can’t believe in science is one huge misconception people have. I’m always amazed when people I’m close to suggest that because I’m Christian I need to choose one thing to believe in. In reality, I believe that I am able to see how God and science complement each other in so many ways. Even when I was younger, I was in awe of how beautiful human biology and processes were, and the great mystery of consciousness and life that even scientists don’t have answers to. When I step back and think about how many cells are working below my skin I can only see that as being so perfectly planned and crafted that a greater force had to have pieced us together.
Another problem people face when they think about a label such as “Christian,” is that they think of how strict or rule-based the religion seems. In reality, becoming a Christian is meant to make one feel free. Jesus came to set us free from sin’s power over us. 2 Corinthians 3:17 says, “Now the Lord is the spirit, and where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” Somehow people have made Christianity so complicated and sometimes cruel. It can seem to be more about who fits the label of “perfect” than about embracing one’s ability to have free will and mess-up, yet still experience unconditional love from God. When anyone is rejected from a church for who they are, true Christianity, Christ-like love, is not being exemplified.
Jesus would never label you or reject you. You are the Beloved. You are wanted and accepted as you are--always.
I am deeply sorry when I hear that anyone has had this kind of negative experience with Christianity. I know that a lot of people have been hurt by religion and religious people. This post is not meant to shame anyone for not wanting to join a church. I understand that the healing people who have been hurt by organized religion are looking for might not come from an institution.
It is definitely possible and valid to still have a close relationship with God outside of an institution.
I know finding God is hard. Believe me, I get it and I have been there too. We all start somewhere. Even after having had personal experiences with Him, I have days where I question myself. I question what I’ve seen, the times He has answered my prayers, and whether or not I’m just making this whole “God” thing up.
Figuring out what faith means is hard, and it can so easily fall to the wayside if someone isn’t invested. Still, don’t take the easy way out by deciding to not explore all the options.
I have spent much of my life sitting with people as they tell me how hard it is for them to believe a God exists because they didn’t feel His presence in certain moments. That hardship solidified the idea that God didn’t exist or that He didn’t care about them. It’s not surprising that most of these friends are also around my age. I’m 20, so I would say that I am still pretty young in the grand scheme of things.
This friend of mine was 16 when she told me she was “agnostic.” She had given up the search for God at 16.
In a way, we are all agnostic because we admit that there is a lot that we will never know for sure, but I think that too many of us simply stop looking for answers too soon.
One of my friends is studying the major texts of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam to understand where her beliefs line up. I respect her decision so much because she is using her doubt and curiosity as fuel for a deeper understanding of her faith and the faith of others.
Not everyone feels called to do this kind of study, but surely we all feel called to have a greater understanding of the world around us in some way.
What might that look like for you?
If you have been praying, if you have been searching for answers, looking for signs and exploring religion and faith, keep going. Be open to what God (whomever that may be to you) is saying! I believe in a God who will never stop loving us and showing us that love, but God cannot present himself to us as clearly if we aren’t open to the idea of Him at all. It can be hard to embrace that love when we are uncertain of faith, but it is so beautiful once we grow into a deeper understanding of ourselves and our Creator.
From my experience, having a relationship with God and having Him to lean on is so important. We have access to the companionship and aid of the One who knows and can do all things, the One who loves us unconditionally, the One who breathes life into us.
Understanding the creator of the universe, whomever you find that to be, is the greatest journey any of us could go on in this world. It can fulfill us, making our lives feel more purposeful and whole.
Maybe in the end you’ll find out you’re agnostic or atheist, but look at all of the learning you could do along the way! After searching for answers yourself, you now have access to an entirely new way of thinking and interacting with the world. We can all become more empathetic to others by understanding their beliefs. I am so thankful my friend told me about being agnostic. Look how much that made me think!
Faith is a beautiful thing. Shaina and I see truth in all religions and faiths. We invite you to learn about the many faiths of the world if you haven’t already. Let us know in the comments some of your beliefs!
We can all learn more from each other.
Lots of love,
Alena
