My journey with God began in the classrooms of the same Catholic elementary school my dad attended. The teachers led us in prayer daily, taught us the rosary and stories from the Bible, and brought us to Mass every first Friday of the month. I read aloud the readings in Mass, sang in the school choir, altar served, and acted in Stations of the Cross. I was told God loved me, but He was still abstract and out of sight to my young heart.
I knew I was Christian, but I didn’t know what that meant yet.
I went to a public middle school and high school. I quickly learned “God bless America” was not the last line of the Pledge of Allegiance. I realized it wasn’t common to talk about God or pray regularly throughout the school day. I was too scared to say, “Bless you!” when someone sneezed, in case it counted as forcing your religion on someone. I realized that now I would have to claim my faith and choose to make it part of my everyday life myself.
I knew I was Christian, but I didn’t know what that meant yet. I was eager to hear God’s word. I stayed up late reading the Bible highlighting verse after verse, trying to understand what Christians found so inspiring. I was lost and searching for answers.
I had no examples of people my age having a close relationship with God, so I had no idea where to start. The thing is, I knew God. I knew Him to be kind and loving and always patient with my young, anxious heart. I also knew I was missing something in my relationship with God. I looked for answers in my religious education courses. While I loved learning about the traditions of the Catholic Church and the beautiful meaning behind parts of the Mass, I couldn’t find many students who were as interested as me. I knew there were young Christians out there, but I didn’t know where to find them.
I was ready to learn so much and I knew God was working through Jasmine to teach me.
My freshman year of high school I was still trying to understand how to deepen my relationship with God. I regularly attended Mass at a more active Catholic Church, in the hopes of finding a younger community. I read books on different Christian topics and prayed and asked God how to grow closer to Him. A new girl name Jasmine, now one of my best friends, came to my school that year. I quickly learned she was Christian and we talked for hours about our faith, I tried to learn as much as possible, asking her question after question. I was ready to learn so much and I knew God was working through Jasmine to teach me. She shared her testimony and beliefs, always gave me grace when I asked something like “But how do you know it’s all true?”
Jasmine and her family showed me how being a Christian changes your whole life. They spoke so openly about their faith, what they were praying for, and filled their welcoming home with worship music regularly. I saw them try so many churches when they moved to my hometown. It inspired me to find a church that better fit my spiritual needs in that season of life.
God worked through the messy parts of my life not to give me a perfect story of how I found Him, but to give me the story I needed to hear.
My mom and I found a Reconciling Methodist church to call home. It is a beautiful intergenerational community that believes so fully in God’s love for all of us and pursuing social justice issues with a heart for the Lord.
You may ask, “But where is that ‘ah-ha’ moment where you accepted Jesus and felt God’s presence?”
I can’t pinpoint one moment. My testimony comes from the many moments God weaved together to lead me to my belief in Jesus Christ. God worked through the messy parts of my life not to give me a perfect story of how I found Him, but to give me the story I needed to hear.
God used the people in my life to lead me to Him. He led Jasmine to me, answering my years of prayer for community with one faith-filled teenager. I am so thankful for how patient and caring He was with me during this time when I was trying to understand my relationship with Him. Looking back, God was present in my life even if I didn’t know it at the time.
In middle school, He whispered into my heart that the people I was friends with mattered. “But I’m nice enough!” I told Him. Not when I’m with a specific friend group, I realized. God didn’t tell me to abandon my friends. He told me to invest in the friends I had been ignoring. I couldn’t see that I had nice friends to count on until I began to trust that God would provide and not abandon me in the uncertainty of middle school.
God used the people in my life to lead me to Him.
Then in high school I faced academic pressure like never before. My classes were difficult so I studied instead of sleeping, rarely stopping to rest. I was nervous before a history exam one day and had reached my breaking point. I didn’t know how much longer I could deal with the pressure. I was too nervous to keep a conversation going while walking the hallways to the exam. Before walking into the classroom I prayed, “Lord, I can’t handle this anymore. Please, take away the stress from this exam. Let me honor you with it.” In that moment, I felt completely at peace. I encouraged my friends before the exam, I laughed, I was fine. I relaxed and sat down for that exam confidently. It was one of my best scores of the school year. I had never given my struggles to the Lord like that, but after that experience I began to do it regularly. I realized God wanted me to trust Him with my burdens.
God became a real, crucial part of my life. He was no longer an abstract concept, but someone sitting next to me in church, bumping into me on the street, or even with me walking the halls of high school. God already knew, but I told Him that I accepted Jesus as His son and my savior. I had rarely questioned that as a truth throughout my life, but when I prayed it I was completely sure of its truth. He had shown me that He would never leave me, that He answers my prayers, and that He is always good.
Here’s the thing: God changes everything.
He has taught me about grace, real unconditional love, and hope in every circumstance. But most importantly, God has shown me that love does not stop in prayer. I must act on it every day and show God’s love to those who, like me, needed someone patient and caring to show them that God is not “up there,” but right here with me.
There is so much more to the story of God’s love in my life, but here is where it all began. Thanks for reading, sweets!
Peace and blessings,
Shaina
