When I was in middle school and high school, the church I went to struggled with getting kids involved in the youth group. The youth leader left as I was entering middle school, an age where religious leaders and youth group are arguably most valuable. My old church’s priority was not the youth program when I needed it most. My mother was amazing, and ended up trying to run the youth group. As much as she tried, these events were awkward and I was usually the only girl in a group of middle school boys.
Church was not fun, and I did not have any friends to look forward to seeing each week.
While I was questioning who God was and what He meant to me, my uncle asked me a question that shifted my perspective.
He said, “What is your relationship with God like? How do you connect with Him?”
I answered him by going off about how miserable my youth group was, and I explained how hard it was being the only girl. I rambled about all the ways the youth group was horrible and how, for that reason, I didn’t have a way to “connect” with God.
He looked confused for a second, and then he told me, “Alena, your relationship with God doesn’t rely on other people, that is between you and Him.”
When he told me this, it scared me. For the first time I had to question if I was doing enough to grow closer to the Lord. I left him to go up to my room and start praying avidly, begging God to speak to me. I was discouraged when I thought God wasn’t giving me a response.
Since then, my faith has grown because I know that God already spoke to me that day, just not in the way I was expecting. God used my uncle’s words to reach me and move me to put more of an effort on focusing on God. The Lord was present in my life already and that had nothing to do with my youth group.
Why is this important?
When I was looking at colleges, I was sure that the one I would go to would finally be where I would find a group of like-minded Christians. At first, I found one, Shaina. Although Shaina and I pray together, and I have grown a lot through hearing about her relationship with God, my relationship with God is not because of Shaina.
My relationship with God is too precious to be something that depends on other people.
While I do believe the people we spend time with affects our faith and decisions (i.e. if you surround yourself with people who make fun of your beliefs, it might make you doubt yourself), the number of Christian friends you have does not make or break your being a Christian.This applies to romantic relationships too. Your faith is a personal thing. So, while it is important to take your partner’s beliefs into consideration when dating, your walk with God should be independent of your significant other (though your faith might be encouraged by them, and that is amazing). See my post on dating someone with different religious beliefs here for more of my thoughts on this subject.
Once I took my uncle’s advice to heart, I realized God speaks to me through other people, but more importantly, God speaks to me. He will speak to me whether I’m with other Christians or not. Living my own life with the Creator of the Universe by my side is really what matters.
So, if you don’t have a community of like-minded believers yet, I definitely know where you are coming from. I am so sorry if you feel discouraged by this. However, as Christians we can know that God is always beside us.
These are some of the ways I have reached God in times where I was feeling alone in my faith:
-When I was studying abroad, I could not attend church there every week because of my travel schedule. On the weeks that I skipped church, or simply when I wanted a reminder of God’s presence, often times I would play Stephanie May Wilson’s podcast, “Girls Night.” Stephanie is a Christian blogger and podcaster who invites friends over to talk about faith and different issues that have come up in their lives. Podcasts like this one are an easy way to hear from Christians and apply Christian ideas to your daily life.
-At college, I still take advantage of the organizations on campus, even though they don’t necessarily line up with my beliefs. It’s important to hear different Christian perspectives because they challenge my own beliefs and make me think critically about what I have grown up believing.
-Bible Studies and prayer are so important. See Shaina’s post here about ideas for how to study the Bible. In my experience, it takes a while to get comfortable with being alone with God. However, once you train yourself to put aside time for just you and the Lord (praying and journaling, talking to God like He is your best friend, etc.) soon this becomes second nature. See my articles on How I Talk to God and How I Hear God for suggestions on how to grow in your prayer life. One easy way to start this practice is simply to make yourself aware that God is with you throughout your day. It might feel a bit weird at first, but when something funny happens to you, react to it “with” God. For example, if I have an awkward interaction with a friend, I might think to myself, “Well that was weird.” If I am actively making myself aware of God’s presence, I might instead think to myself/pray “Well God, that was weird. Thanks for being along for the ride.” This kind of practice of involving God in your life is so rewarding, and although it may feel a bit odd, it does make God feel more present and tangible.
-One way to hear from God is to get out of your comfort zone! It’s when we are most afraid that we need to cling on to God the most, and it is often in these moments where we feel God most clearly. Do that thing you were always afraid of doing. Be vulnerable, be brave. One thing God’s been teaching me lately is that whatever we decide to do, whether it is God’s will or not, He is there to pick up the pieces of our actions and help us grow from them in incredible ways.
-I love reading, so finding some Christian books (other than the Bible!) can really benefit your faith. Some of my personal favorites:
The Lipstick Gospel by Stephanie May Wilson
God’s Smuggler by Brother Andrew
Love Does by Bob Goff
If Grace is True by James Mulholland and Philip Gulley
-Christian music is an easy way of praising God throughout the day and it always gives me a little dose of encouragement. See Shaina’s article here on worship songs for some of our current favorites!
Your faith is yours, and God is ours. How special is that?
Comment below! Have you ever found yourself stuck in a rut with thinking your faith had to do with the church you were in or the people around you?
Lots of love,
Alena
